...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
