all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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