how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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