I puked a lego.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
