does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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