Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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