It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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