tell your sister to shave her snatch
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
