Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
