I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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