found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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