You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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