With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
