Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
