He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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