3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
