i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
