Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
