Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
