I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
