I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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