Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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