guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
