There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
