Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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