I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
