Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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