the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
