Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
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When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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