i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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