Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Small penises have feelings too.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
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