With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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