I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
