After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize