The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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