She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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