I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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