Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Come on in and take your pants off
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