1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
