You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
As shirtless as possible
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
It's shark week go big or go home
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
