I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
