im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
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i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
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I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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