JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
only if we run a train.
done.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
