we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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