I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
