question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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