thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
