Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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