why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
