we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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