Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
