No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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