I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
