When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
