Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
