There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
