It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
