Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
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The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
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The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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