we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
