He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize