Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
