The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
